it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
