Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
