i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
