We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
