need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
