oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
