I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
