i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
