Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I forget how to act sober
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
