is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
