i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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