i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
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