i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
