I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
