What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
