he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I need moral support for this bender
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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