i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
