billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
