Got a toothbrush?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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