When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize