sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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