Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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