is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
