and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This is classic penis vs brain.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
