no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize