worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
