This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
