I need help removing her.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
