I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize