I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
