angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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