I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
