all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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