it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
