i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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