I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
