Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
