We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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