you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You had me at "let me see your balls"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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