Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
