Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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