did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
