Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i will never coherently bang her
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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