What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
