Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you inspire me to be a worse person
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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