I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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