I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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