Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
