Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
