Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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