Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
