Plan B is the new Plan A
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
