dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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