yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
