I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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