Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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