just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
