I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
