You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
