your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
