I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I am naked and annoyed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
