Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
