Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
