So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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