yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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