i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
