Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
