My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
