My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
