Its about making memories worth repressing
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
