Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
