you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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